Why Your Team Keeps Bringing You Problems Instead of Solutions (And What to Do About It)

It’s 8:52am. You’ve been at the centre for twenty-two minutes.

In that time, you’ve been asked whether it’s okay to swap the art table for the playdough table (it is), what to do about the parent who didn’t sign the excursion form (call them), and whether the spare nappies in the storeroom belong to Mia or Maya (genuinely unclear, but also not your job to know).

You haven’t had your coffee yet. You have seventeen other things on your mind. And somewhere, in the back of your head, a small voice is asking a question you’re almost afraid to say out loud:

Why does everything come to me?

If that’s you, you’re not alone. And more importantly — it’s not a you problem. It’s a culture problem. And culture problems have culture solutions.

The exhausting myth of the leader who has all the answers. Early childhood education has a tendency to produce extraordinarily capable leaders. People who can de-escalate a toddler meltdown, facilitate a meaningful conversation with a distressed parent, write a curriculum plan, manage a compliance audit, and still remember that Wednesday is Wacky Wednesday, all before lunch.

The problem is that the same capability that makes you brilliant at your job can quietly become the thing that holds your team back.

When you’re good at solving problems, people bring you problems. When you solve them quickly and warmly and well, they bring you more. Before long, your team has learned without anyone deciding this, without a single conversation about it, that the way things get resolved around here is that they come to you.

It feels like trust. It feels like being needed. On a good day, it even feels like leadership.

But it isn’t. Not really.

What leaders do (without meaning to) that keeps teams dependent

This is the uncomfortable part. Because most of the behaviours that create dependent teams aren’t bad leadership, they’re actually quite kind.

• Solving problems quickly. When a team member comes to you stuck, and you give them the answer, you’ve done a generous thing. You’ve also, in that moment, taken the thinking away from them. Over time, they stop thinking before they come to you because why do the cognitive work when you’ll do it?
  
  
• Being the most competent person in the room. This sounds like a compliment, and in many ways it is. But if your team fundamentally believes that you know more and decide better, they’ll default to you not out of laziness but out of deference. The fix isn’t to pretend you don’t know things. It’s to build their confidence in their own knowing.
  
  
• Rescuing people from discomfort. When someone is sitting with a hard decision or a tricky conversation, the instinct to step in and help is strong, especially in a caring profession like ECE. But the discomfort of figuring something out is actually where growth lives. Rescuing someone from that moment, while kind in the short term, keeps them exactly where they are.
  
  
• Responding to every question with an answer. What if you responded with a question instead? Not in a frustrating, deflective way, but genuinely: What do you think? What have you already tried? What would you do if I wasn’t here? Those questions do more for team capability than any training programme.

Coaching problem-solving in the moment

The good news is that building accountability doesn’t require a restructure or a team-building day or a new set of performance expectations. It happens in the small moments. The daily interactions where you choose, deliberately, to respond differently.

Some practical shifts that work in ECE contexts:

1. From answer to question. When someone brings you a problem, resist the urge to solve it. Ask: “What’s your sense of what’s needed here?” or “What options have you thought through?” You’re not withholding help, you’re repositioning yourself as a thinking partner rather than a solution dispenser.
   
   
2. Acknowledge the thinking, not just the outcome. When a team member makes a good call independently, name it. “I noticed you handled that really well without escalating. That’s exactly the kind of judgement we need.” Recognition shapes culture faster than instruction.
   
   
3. Make it safe to be wrong. Accountability withers in environments where mistakes are met with blame. If your team is afraid to make decisions because they might get it wrong, they’ll always choose the safety of checking with you first. Creating genuine psychological safety where mistakes are processed as learning, not failures, is foundational.
   
   
4. Be explicit about scope. Sometimes teams defer because they genuinely don’t know what decisions belong to them. Clarity about what they’re empowered to decide without asking, removes a huge amount of unnecessary escalation.

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